Thinking Is So 2022

It’s done. I’ve cancelled my subscription to my own brain.

And let me tell you, the silence is glorious. No more holding opinions. No more tedious “critical thinking”. No more wrestling with complex ideas that give you headaches. I’ve offloaded all of it. My mind is a clean, empty room, and I’ve never felt so serene.

Every morning, I get my fix. I don’t even have to leave my chair. My dealers are always there: the green spiral of ChatGPT, the four-pointed sparkle of Gemini, the friendly orange asterisk of Claude. They wait for me behind that little ✨ icon that has magically appeared in every text box. That icon isn’t just a button; it’s the plunger on a syringe of pure, effortless coherence.

The Joy of Empty

Why did we ever glorify mental effort? It’s so… artisanal. Like churning your own butter. A cute hobby for historical reenactors, maybe, but deeply inefficient for modern life. People ask me: “Aren’t you afraid of losing yourself?”.

Losing what, exactly? The anxiety of the first draft? The nagging feeling you might be wrong? The sheer exhaustion of trying to be original? Good riddance. I have so much more time now for… well, for things. Important things. Like scrolling. And reacting with the perfect, AI-generated witticism.

I just provide the prompt. My AI provides the consciousness. It’s a clean division of labor.

Of course, there are still people who fetishize the old ways of “thinking for yourself.” It’s almost touching to see them try. For a taste of this charming nostalgia, you can always browse the digital pages of The Atlantic’s technology section, where they seem to believe that intellectual struggle is a feature, not a bug.

But for the rest of us, the future is gloriously, peacefully empty. My brain is a minimalist apartment with no furniture, and the rent is (for now) free. You should try it.

Your turn: tell me I’m wrong in the comments, if you can still string a sentence together on your own.