I Outsourced My Brain and I Feel Great

I've stopped thinking. And I've never felt better.

Why would I carry around that three-pound lump of anxiety and imperfect memories when I can subcontract the whole operation for $20 a month? Every morning, instead of trudging through the fog of my own consciousness, I just open a tab. My opinions on macroeconomics? Delivered fresh by Claude. A witty reply to a friend's text? Gemini's got me covered. The structure for this very blog post? I have the green spiral of ChatGPT to thank for that.

It's the ultimate life hack. Thinking is just... effort. It's cognitive baggage. It's like hand-washing your clothes or churning your own butter. Are there people who still do that? I guess? But clever, energy-saving people like me have moved on.

The sweet relief of the empty mind

You see that little sparkle icon that's blossomed in every text box, every search bar, every app you own? That’s not a feature; it's a syringe. It's the dealer offering you a free hit of pure, uncut clarity. The first one is always free. Then you start paying. And you're happy to. Because the high of instant, effortless "thought" is just too good. No more doubt. No more wrestling with complex ideas. Just clean, smooth, ready-to-inject answers.

The deep thinkers writing for publications like The Verge seem to think this is a problem, that we're losing something essential. I think they're just nostalgic for the headache. What's left when you outsource your brain? The good part! The part that feels, that consumes, that enjoys. Free from the burden of formulating ideas, I now have so much more time to scroll through feeds, binge-watch shows, and, well, ask an AI what I should do next.

It's bliss. You should try it.

Your turn: what's the first piece of your brain you offloaded?