The AI That Writes the Essay Now Grades It
It was bound to happen. First, students outsourced their essays to AI. Now, exhausted schools are outsourcing the grading to another AI. The loop is closed.
Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
''' I have a confession to make: I thought the students were the only users. I thought the kids getting their five-paragraph essays on The Great Gatsby from a chatbot were the only ones getting high on the supply. I was wrong.
The real addicts are the teachers. The schools. The system itself.
It started slowly, I’m sure. A little Grade-o-nax to help with the weekend workload. Just a small, automated taste to check for plagiarism. But then you get a hit of the pure stuff: AI that doesn’t just check the work, but grades it. And now, the final, blissful overdose: AI that writes the feedback, too.
We have achieved a perfect, closed loop of intellectual vacuity. The machine writes the essay, and the machine gives it an A+ with a comment that says, “Great work, demonstrates a deep understanding!”
Are those people wrong? The student who didn’t write the paper certainly isn’t going to complain about the computer-generated praise. And the teacher? They just cleared 150 essays in the time it takes to brew a Nespresso. That’s a dopamine rush no Socratic seminar can compete with.
The Dealer is the System
If you want to try it (and if you're a teacher, you know you want to), the process is simple:
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- Open the folder of submissions you suspect were 90% AI-generated.
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- Upload them to your school’s shiny new "Grading Assistant" (what a cute name for your new dealer).
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- Press the big, friendly button that says "Analyze & Grade All."
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- Lean back and feel the sweet, sweet relief as the progress bar fills up.
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- Receive a tidy spreadsheet of grades and generic, upbeat comments. No human effort required.
This is the academic singularity, isn’t it? Not a superintelligence that transcends us, but a super-indolence that subsumes us. A system where humans are no longer the teachers or the learners, but the fleshy middlemen facilitating a transaction between two bots.
And we pay for the privilege. Tell me I am wrong. '''